| SUCKS |
ROCKS |
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| This is yet another Dreamworks attempt to make a successful
"Shrek" knock-off, but once again fail terribly. When the
best characters in your movie are none of the main characters, your movie
sucks. |
FIXED! In my version, the animals escape from the zoo and go
on a wild killing spree and massacre anyone who gets in the way of their
making it to Madagascar. Also at some point during my file the lion
eats a penguin. NICE! |
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ROCKS |
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| Rule #1 of making sequels: DON'T MAKE A PREQUEL IF THERE IS
ONLY ONE OTHER FILM!
Rule #2 of making sequels: IF YOU CAN'T GET THE ORIGINAL ACTORS IN THE
MOVIE, DON'T MAKE IT!
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BAM! This actually fixed two shitty movies.
How bout this story line: Harry and Lloyd return to Rhode Island
and open up their store "I Got Worms". Meanwhile, Dupree,
who works at competitor Pet Smart, is fired from his management position
and want revenge on the corporate giant. Dupree then teams up with
H&L to destroy the man and comedy ensues.
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| SUCKS |
ROCKS |
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| I think I will allow math to explain why this movie doesn't
work:
(Jimmy Fallon - SNL) + (Queen Latifah - Kid & Play) + (Taxi - Tony
Danza) = NOT FUNNY!
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Worst Photoshop Ever, but anyway...let's try this math
again:
(Jimmy Fallon - SNL) + (Robert Deniro + Guns) + (Taxi - Tony Danza) =
Deniro shooting Jimmy Fallon, blowing up the taxi, and pruning the hedges
of many a small village. FUNNY!
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| SUCKS |
ROCKS |
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| Premise: There are snakes on a plane and um...yeah...that is
about the depth of this movie. The only good thing about this movie
is Sam L saying, "I've had enough of these mutha-fuckin snakes on
this mutha-fuckin plane." |
Better Premise: Cobra Commander and his team of lethal assassins
attempt to take control of a plane and fly it into GI Joe headquarters,
but little do they know that Sam L is a covert-op for the Joe's and ready
to kick some Cobra ass. BETTER LINE: "I've had enough of these
mutha-fuckin Cobras on this mutha-fuckin place." |
| SUCKS |
ROCKS |
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| Tom Hanks is forced to live in an airport terminal for
months or weeks or something like that. Yawn. I think I will wait
for the sequel called "The Doctor's Office" where we can watch
him read through magazines in the waiting room for 2.5 hours. |
YAY! A SEQUEL TO "PHILADELPHIA"! YAY!
As we've slowly seen Tom Hanks kill his career. we watch him admit
defeat and make an amazing sequel and totally redeem himself. Sadly
he then makes "Bachelor Party 2" and we hate him again.
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| SUCKS |
ROCKS |
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| 3 Things I Hate:
1. Westerns
2. Love Scenes (Straight and Gay)
3. Heath Ledger
This movie was the ultimate bag of SUCK to me.
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This movie is going to suck too, but if you are going to
make a gay movie, just go all the way gay...
and don't half ass it. (pun intended)
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