Everybody Poops...even Barbie's Dog
So I am sitting at home on Sunday night getting ready to watch Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network, when suddenly there is this commercial for Robot Chicken featuring Barbie and her new dog Tanner...
If you don't know what Robot Chicken or Adult Swim is, you should stop reading and just go kill yourself...or go onto YouTube and get learned...either way, I will wait for you to finish.
..............
Okay, you are either dead or now schooled in the ways of the Chicken...let's continue...
They show Barbie feeding her dog and then show the dog pooping it out, followed by Barbie picking up the poop with her handy pooper-scooper. As I was saying, this commercial seemed like it was going to be pretty funny to me, but suddenly the commercial ended and they never mentioned Robot Chicken. Confused, I went online the following morning to see if this toy was for real AND to my concern, it was in fact real.
Well now you might be saying to yourself, "Why the fuck is this guy preaching about Barbies?" but I am getting there, so relax. My problem is this "Why the fuck did they need to make the dog eat and shit, but not only that, but his shit is the same thing as his food?" Don't get me wrong, I have known dogs to eat their own shit, but why is this necessary for a toy, a toy that some 8 year old girl is going to play with? What is this toy supposed to teach a kid? I can just picture some little kid picking up shit and trying to feed it to their dog and saying "I learned it from Barbie."
I know Barbie is single now, but does a doll really need the added responsibility of feeding and cleaning up dog shit. I mean, who really needs a fake dog that poops? What's next, an actual Barbie that poops?
Actually, that would be pretty funny. It would probably look like a little plastic blow-up doll with big pink lips and a wide toot shoot. An added bonus would be getting to feed Barbie her own poop. Maybe she could come with her own toilet and when you put Barbie on the toilet she makes "bustin a grumpy" noises...that or a big "PLOP!" sound.
All in all though, I guess I should be happy the toy didn't come with a little jar of peanut butter because I can only imagine the kind of press that toy would get.
If you know anyone who buys this stupid ass toy for their kid (and you will), I ask that you drop your pants and leave a fresh Cleveland steamer right on their kitchen table and they'll know "that's what I get for buying the worst toy in the fucking world".