Easy Insults to Common Countries
Please Note: This may make me come off as some sort of racist, but please note that I do not actually think this way...often. These insults are intended for humor purposes only, unless of course you are speaking to the French, because they deserve it. Anyway, if you use some of the insults, you may get your ass kicked...by a dirty Mexican. Enjoy.
For the English:
Oh yeah. Well we won the war.
It is called a toothbrush, try one.
Listen Frenchy, enough of you.
You guys are just lucky that the Irish are too drunk to come down and get you.
My lawn mower is bigger than your cars.
Fig Newtons are COOKIES.
Tea time is for pussies. In the US we do Happy Hour.
For the French:
France has so much to offer the world, the Eiffel Tower, croissants, and...um...yup, that's it.
The only reason we didn't take over France is cause they distracted us with the Statue of Liberty. Why would you want to take over a country that sends you a huge woman with a dress to look up.
French people are like Pepe Le' Pue, the skunk from Looney Tunes. They are all horny, obsessive, and smell like ass.
Wow, France. It is like England, but with gay people.
How is it that French accent resembles the sound of an asshole?
For Canadians:
You have nothing to worry about, until we run out of Maple Syrup.
We thought about taking you guys, but then we realized how fucking cold it was. We kept Alaska in case we change our minds.
In Canada you say "Ay!", in the US we say "FU!"
The license plates should read "Hey, We got Strippers and Molson XXX".
The only thing worse than a Canadian is a French Canadian.
Marijuana is legal. Education and health care are free. How is it that you still manage to suck?
For Mexicans:
Wow, You smell worse than the French!
I know a Mexican. His name is Dirty Sanchez.
So is your name Pablo or Carlos?
Your drinking water looks like Chocolate milk.
Do you own or rent your lawnmower? Haha. What was I thinking? Rent, of course.
Mexico, it is like one big sandbox.
Hate mail from Insults
Dear JS,
Your insults suck ass....you Cum Guzzling Cock Sock.
- BoogyMAN6663
Reply:
Dear BoogyMAN,
The fact that you felt the need to comment on my insults leads me to believe that you must be either English, French, Canadian, or Mexican. I appreciate that you took time away from lawn mowing, eating Fig Newtons, surrendering, or cutting logs to even learn how to read. With a name like "BoogyMAN" I am lead to believe you must hide in little kids closets and scare them at night, in which case, good for you stalking little kids. Also, I am not quite sure what a "Cock Sock" is? I the US, we use insults that make sense, unless "Cock Sock" is some sort of new gay thing you are better familiar with in your country.
Sincerely,
JS